Sunday, July 11, 2010

Thank you. It's my fault and I deserve it.

I seriously cannot take it anymore. I don't care already. Even if everyone reads and complain about me.

Thanks for the unhappiness caused on my birthday. I have never been so unhappy and tired before.

Why must the unhappiness everytime happen near it?
2007 - The day before, guys peaked into my school diary and peaked and laughed and drew it.
2008 - Something happened the day before and I forgot.

I have been doing my own reflections since that day and have been thinking what I did wrong and to deserve this. Because of that, I have been crying every single day. At work, on bus & at home. I tried not to do so, but I can't control. I didn't have anyone to talk and cry to, so I have to be quiet and hide my feelings and cry on my own.

All I wanted to do was to try to do more work to cover up what I "didn't" do, apparently that's the case to you all.
I agree that it is my fault that I have to do it like 4 times and still didn't get it right. The funny thing is that the research you people tell me to do to explain it was only 1 out of the 20 sentences. The other 19 was the explanation part that you told me. SO? I can also write that on my own. So it was considered that I didn't do any work. So I have to cover up.
And then when I want to do, I was denied of doing so. Waiting till the last minute and realising that all the waiting was useless and wasted. Bottom line, I was still wrong and I'm at fault because I should have known that you are doing MY part during that period.

The way you say that everyone's in fault too is like saying I'm the only one at fault.

I seriously don't know what's going on in your mind. And I don't want to care already.

I just want to do my work and get over it with as soon as possible and I will automatically disappear out of your lives.

Thank you. It's my fault and I deserve it.

FYI, it hurts alot and it's really very pain.

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